Posted 06-16-2006
MPG

A prescient fictitious interview.

We live in a land where fiction becomes truth and truth is turned into fiction, it’s a very strange place.

This is a short transcript of Miramax’s film “Good Will Hunting” which won two academy awards.  Best supporting actor Robin Williams and best original screen play Ben Afflick & Matt Damon.

The story’s main character is Will, played by Matt Damon.  Will is a troubled youth living in the toughest part of South Boston, getting into trouble with the law and rapidly heading down the wrong road, but he also happens to be a mathematical genius.

A professor who recognizes this genius arranges several job interviews for him, one of them is with the N.S.A, the National Security Agency.  Will does not appreciate the honor.  

As you read Will’s interview, be aware this film was released in 1996.

Begin interview ======================

Will and two agents are sitting in a modern chrome furnished office of the National Security Agency with dim lighting and dark shadows.

Will “So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?”

Agent  “Well…you’d be working on the cutting edge… you’d be exposed to the kind of technology that you wouldn’t see anywhere else because we’ve classified it, superstring theory, chaos math, advanced algorithms….”

Will (interrupting) “Code breaking…”

Agent “Well that’s one aspect of what we do…”

Will “Aw come on, I mean that IS what you do. You guys handle eighty percent of the intelligence workload; you’re seven times the size of the C.I.A.”

Agent “We don’t like to brag about that Will.  But you’re exactly right” (pause) “so the way I see it the question isn’t why should you work for the N.S.A, the question is why shouldn’t you?”

Will “Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.?” Will asks himself rhetorically.

Will “That’s a tough one; (pause) but I’ll take a shot.  Say I’m working at the N.S.A. and somebody puts a code on my desk.  Something no one else can break.  Maybe I take a shot at it, maybe I break it and I’m real happy with myself because I did my job well.  But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East, and once they have that location they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed.”

“Now the politicians are saying ‘oh send in the marines to the secure the area’ cause they don’t give a shit, it won’t be their kid over there getting shot.  Just like it wasn’t them when their number got called because they were pulling a tour in the National Guard.  It’ll be some kid from Southie over there taking shrapnel in the ass.  He comes back to find the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job because he’ll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks.”

“Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price.  And of course the oil companies use the little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain’t helping my buddy at $2.50 a gallon.  They’re taking their sweet time bringing the oil back of course.”

“Maybe they’re even taking the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fucking play slalom with the ice burgs.  It ain’t to long till he hits, one spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic.”

“So now my buddy’s out of work, he can’t afford to drive, so he’s walking to the fucking job interviews which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is giving him chronic hemorrhoids.  And meanwhile he’s starving because every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special is North Atlantic Scrod with Quaker State.” (long pause)

“So what do I think….” (pause)

“I’m holding out for something better.”

“I figure fuck it, while I’m at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard.” (pause)

“I could be elected president.”

End Interview. =====================

MPG